Struggles

We all have our struggles. Sometimes we share our struggles with those closest to us, sometimes we share them with the world and sometime we keep our struggles to ourselves. With all of the upcoming changing that will be taking place in our family in the next month or so, I think it is safe to say that I feel nervous, overwhelmed and unsure. Some days and nights my brain goes a million miles an hour and I have a hard time turning it off. I find myself wondering things like, "How will Andy react to anesthesia?" "How difficult is his recovery going to be" "When is this baby going to come? Hopefully not early, so Andy has time to heal." "Will my body go into labor on its own this time? If so, what will that be like?" "Is the baby going to arrive healthy?" "Who is going to watch Bubba while I'm in the hospital?" "How is Bubba going to react to having to share 'his' Mommy" "What are some healthy freezer meal recipes?" "How are we going to afford all these medical bills?"

The thought off all the medical bills has been something I have tried not to think a lot about. I know the bills are going to come and I know we are going to pay them. It's just going to be a lot of money, money that we had hoped to use to buy another vehicle as one of ours is on it's last leg.

Knowing what our upcoming expenses were going to look like I found myself wondering how we were going to be able to afford all of the things we need to transition Bubba out of the nursery and to prepare for the arrival of baby #2.

Over the last few days, I have been reminded that the Lord is aware of us and our situation.

On Friday I found package on the front porch, a new baby swing. The swing we had used with Bubba was a hand-me-down and was falling apart so we had gotten rid of it and didn't have one for this baby.

Yesterday when I went to check the mail I was greeted by a package of formula. Bubba never took formula and I am not sure that this little one will either, but it is nice to have some on hand just in case.

I spent most of last night up with Bubba, he thought it was time to wake up and play at 12:30 am-- thank you Daylight Savings. I knew when he went down for a nap today, that I would be napping too. Just before I laid down to nap, I heard a knock on the door. I went to answer the door only to discover that the UPS man had just delivered a huge box-- it could only be one thing, a mattress for the crib.

As I was napping the doorbell rang. I got up to answer the door only to see the FedEx man walking back to his truck and a stack of packages on my porch. I brought the packages in and waited to open them until Andy got home, they were all things we needed for baby.

I can't tell you how incredibly blessed I feel. I'm not usually a crier, but the sight of all the packages came really close to bringing me to tears. I know that the Lord is aware of us and our needs and that often He works miracles through others. I'm grateful for the angels who sent all of those packages.