A Bunch Of Firsts

Bubba, you are 9 weeks old today! I know I say it every week but I just can't believe it!

Aubri (the neighbor) is getting ready to go on a mission and she loves babies. Apparently missionaries aren't allowed to hold babies, so she is trying to get her baby fix in right now. She texts Mommy when she is free and then you have about an hour long "date" with Aubri. This has been a win-win for both parties. Aubri gets to hold you and Mommy has been able to go to the gym, I even snuck out on a date with Daddy.

I don't know how or why but you decided to start taking naps, this is amazing! I have been able to catch up on a little sleep myself, make dinner and bake cookies. The downside to you taking naps is that you have been up more at night, I haven't decided if I like this trade off yet.

You went on your first walk in the stroller this week. It was pretty cold out but we kept you covered. You didn't seem to mind riding in your stroller.

I'm not sure when you're really supposed to start doing this, but you learned how to roll onto your side and you also learned how to scoot off of your changing pad. Speaking of your changing pad, it is your favorite place to lay. You like to look up at the ceiling fan and you coo up a storm.

You also pooped in Dad's hand. Daddy was changing you and you decided to surprise him by pooping in his hand- it was awesome!

We sure love you Little Bear!

Bubba At 2 Months

You're 2 months old today, Bubba! It's kind of like a birthday of sorts for you!

You love to take baths, you just don't like getting out of the water. You enjoy riding in your stroller and going on walks. You love laying on your changing pad. You like to kick your legs and are learning to hold your head up. You hate dirty diapers and aren't afraid to let us know when you need changed. You love looking at lights and other shiny objects. You like to coo and smile. We just love you!

Maternity Photos

I believe we are all children of a loving Heavenly Father and each and everyone of us was created in his image. Our bodies are a gift from God and as such should be treated with the utmost care (diet, exercise, sleep, etc). Sadly society has decided that it is okay to pick people apart about the way they look, this problem only seems to be getting worse. Over the years I have heard: I am too fat, I have a tummy, I need to lose body fat, I sleep too much, I look anorexic, I need to eat more, I need to have plastic surgery, I need to dress more feminine and I need to wear makeup everyday. These kinds of comments have come from friends, family members, coaches and strangers alike. For the most part I have been able to let these kinds of comments roll of my shoulders. Other times I have heard these kinds of comments repeatedly and they have caused me to feel a little more self conscience about myself.

When I found out I was pregnant, I was excited but I was also nervous about the changes that were taking place in my body. I hoped to not get stretch marks, varicose veins and had dreams of putting on only 25 pounds. About this same time the prying questions began: How much weight have you put on? Do you have stretch marks? Lets see a belly shot. Next thing I know my pregnancy is being compared to my peers who are pregnant- this made me feel sad and at times very hurt. I don't believe that these people were truly concerned about me, they were concerned about my image. It wasn't too long before I began to feel self conscience about my ever changing body. I give props to those who are able to take a belly photo every week and post it online for the world to see. I am not one of those people.

As my pregnancy progressed, I found myself debating whether or not I wanted to have maternity photos taken. If I did have them taken, would I share them with others? In the end I decided that I did want to have some photos taken but I wouldn't share them with people.

As I have reflected on my pregnancy, labor, delivery and postpartum my feelings about sharing my maternity photos have changed. My body is amazing! It created a new life and brought a little one into the world- that in and of itself is miraculous! I find pride in my stretchmarks, they are a symbol of what my body has been through. Those extra pounds on my body and that little pooch- they will go away with time. I am more than my body. My body doesn't define who I am. It's what's on the inside that counts. Am I the person God intended me to be? I am sure trying and that's what matters most.

About two weeks before my due date (3 weeks before Bubba was actually born), our talented friend Kirsten took some maternity photos for us. We love how they turned out!

Life As A New Mom

I often see pictures of new moms online with their hair and makeup done, cute clothes and a smile plastered on their face. Their baby is dressed in a super cute outfit and they have created the illusion that life is perfect, wonderful and awesome!

As a new mom, I find myself scratching my head. How are these women doing this? I've decided that they must be magicians or have a lot of help at home.

Dear Magician Mama's, 

Andy and I don't live close to family and our friends live about thirty minutes away (we recently moved). During the day Andy works and I find myself struggling.

I struggle to get decent sleep at night- Bubba's gotta eat. And when he decides he is awake for the day, he intends to stay awake. I know people say to sleep when he sleeps- he doesn't like to sleep. As soon as you set him down his eyes pop right open and he is ready to be up.

I have two goals everyday: shower and eat three meals. I meet my goals nearly everyday but it is a struggle. Some days my shower is literally 2 minutes. By the time I am finishing up in the shower Bubba is wailing. I pick him up (wearing only my towel) and put him on his changing pad so I can get dressed. Forget drying my hair, I'm lucky if I even brush it. Makeup? Forget about it.

Cooking is pretty much nonexistent, I find myself eating whatever is quick and easy. I really miss being able to cook healthy and delicious meals.

How about my wardrobe? Funny you should ask. You see I recently had a baby and well my body isn't the same, so none of my clothes fit. It's sad I know. With a new little baby and medical bills coming in, I just don't have the time or money to spend buying new clothes. Thank you Andy for sharing your closet with me! Sorry if your clothes forever smell like baby throw up.

As to my baby's attire, he pukes and poops pretty much all the time. His clothes don't stay clean for very long and that's okay.

To you magician mama's out there, please cut the rest of us mama's some slack. We're just trying to survive. Some day the newborn phase will pass and I may look well rested, fed and presentable but until then please be patient with me. Or better yet please come and help fold the mountain of laundry that is growing by the day, prune my bushes or hold my baby so I can get a little sleep. Please and thank you!

Sincerely,

A Tired New Mama

Transition

Has is really been 8 weeks already, Bubba? I can't even believe it! Somehow we have survived all of the late night feedings, poop rockets, pee attacks, plane rides, the hospital and inconsolable crying. It's been rough at times, but we've done it!

This past week has been more of a week of transition since coming home from the hospital. We've gotten you back into your "normal" sleeping and feeding routines. This week you actually let Mommy and Daddy get some things done. We set you in your rocker and as long as you could see us, you were content- it was awesome!

For me the highlight of the week is YOU and your smiles and cooing. Your favorite place to be besides Mommy and Daddy's arms in your changing pad. You love looking up at the light. You kick your legs, smiles and coo - it's super cute! You're just so happy when your on your changing pad that is makes Mommy and Daddy happy too!

Daddy & Bubba.

We sure love you Bubba! Our lives wouldn't be complete without you!

Our Little Angel

My sweet little boy, we just love you!

Seizure

It's crazy to me to think that you will be two months old next week. Time is just passing us by. Each day you are a little bit bigger. Although I'm tired, I wish that time would slow down. You've already out grown your newborn size clothes along with your 0-3 month and 3 month clothing. I can't believe how quickly you are growing, it kinda makes me sad.

You gave us quite the scare this week, Bubba. When we got home from Utah last week our friends called to say their little boy had croup. They told us to keep an eye on you, since you were exposed to it. That night you began running a low grade fever and it lasted for 4 days.

I noticed your leg twitch out of the corner of my eye on Tuesday. At 9:00 pm while talking with Papa I noticed your leg twitch again and I thought it was strange.

At 2:30 in the morning (Wednesday) you woke up hungry. I fed you and Daddy grabbed you to change your diaper. When Daddy went to change you your legs started convulsing. I yelled at Daddy that you were having a seizure. He looked at you and your eyes were open but you were looking right through him, your arms were out to your sides and locked in place, there was puke in your mouth and you weren't breathing.

Daddy immediately picked you up and tried blowing on your face (you hate it when he does that) and you didn't respond. Daddy tried burping you and you still didn't respond. He tried blowing on your face one more time and you finally started to breath.

We grabbed your diaper bag, put you in your car seat and headed to the Emergency Room. The doctor working the E.R. did not like what we had told him about your condition so he called the pediatrician on staff and they both agreed that you needed to be admitted to the hospital. All of the rooms in every hospital from Eugene to Portland were full because of the flu, thankfully they had a room available for you up in Labor and Delivery.

Daddy and Bubba in the E.R.

Bubba being brave.

While in the E.R. they took your temperature rectally multiple times, you weren't a huge fan of that. They ran liquid through your nose both directions to test for RSV and the flu, you wailed! And then they stuck an IV in your arm- that about broke Mommy's heart, I held you while they put it in.

Hooked up to the electrodes.

During the EEG.

The doctor ordered all kinds of tests to make sure you were okay. They did a spinal tap to test for spinal meningitis, they asked Mommy and Daddy to go down to another floor while they did this. Then they did an EEG to monitor your brain activity, you had to have about 10 electrodes glued to your head.

They put a catheter in you to test your urine and ran all kinds of blood tests and cultures. Everything came back negative.

Trying to relax under the heat warmer.

While you were in the hospital you were hooked up to all kinds of monitors, some were on your chest and your toes. The doctor and nurses wanted to make sure they knew if you had another seizure or quite breathing. Thankfully nothing happened.

A tired little boy.

Sleeping.

One tired momma.

We were super worried about you! We waited so long for you to join our family, we didn't and still don't want anything bad to happen to you. Our friends and family began praying for you, your name was put on the prayer roll at the temple and Daddy helped give you a blessing.

It was concluded that you had some sort of virus and that it should run its course in 7-10 days. As far as the seizure goes, the doctor called it a "neurologic episode" because you are so young, Mommy and Daddy didn't have it on camera and because it didn't happen again while you were in the hospital.

Mommy and Daddy believe it was a fever seizure. We've been reading up on them and it fits the description to a tee with the exception of your age, you're less than 6 months old.

We're so glad you are okay. We know that Heavenly Father has heard and answered our prayers and the prayers of others offered in your behalf. We are hoping that you never have another seizure again.

We love you little bear!